Post 'em if ya got 'em.

Here's one:

When I was seven and freshly back on American soil (this would have been the summer of 1987, just in case you were wondering), I was introduced to a Star Trek series that differed from the Star Trek series my mother had pirated on VHS while we were in Germany. I thought both Star Treks might have been produced contemporaneously. The one to which I had been introduced first looked sparser, more technologically primitive, more Technicolored, but I reasoned that this did not mean it was older. Why did I reason thus? Voltron, mostly. I had grown up with a "Lion" Voltron and a "Vehicle" Voltron. These shows had a look and feel that set them apart, in my mind, in a manner similar to the manner in which the two Star Treks were set apart.

Both Voltron teams had a young boy piloting one of the vehicles/pieces of his show's Voltron. The Saint Louis folks who bought the Japanese shows from which these two Voltron series were culled made it so that these two boys--the youngest of the "Lion" Voltron's pilots was named Pidge, the youngest of the "Vehicle" Voltron's pilots was named Chip--were brothers, though they were of no relation in their cartoons' un-cannibalized forms.

When I saw the Star Trek on which I had not been raised for the first time, I saw an actor with whom I believed I was familiar. The actor was Wil Wheaton, and I thought I recognized him from some of the Disney movies my mother had pirated. Turns out I was confusing him with Tommy Kirk. He played the older of the two sons in Old Yeller, and the boy who transformed into Disney's first Shaggy Dog. I assumed that the same actor must be on both Star Treks playing brothers.

The question you are no doubt about to ask me is, "When was Tommy Kirk ever on the original Star Trek? The answer: he was not. The thing is, however, that I knew my mother's pirated Star Trek collection to be quite incomplete. "Surely," I thought, "he must be on some of the many episodes we do not own."

I knew the original Star Trek to be oldish, since I had seen all of the movies that had been released up to the time we returned to the states. The movie versions of Kirk & Co. looked considerably older than the show's versions. I thought Next Generation, too, must have been oldish. (It should be noted that I probably did not know what "Generation" meant. Well, I had seen the word "regeneration" in comics, and had understood it to mean something that grows where something else used to be. I probably took "generation" to mean something similar to "regeneration." I doubt I ever bothered to look it up.) I had no reason to believe otherwise. Twilight Zone, Bewitched, Have Gun Will Travel and other oldish shows I liked at the time were being shown alongside newer shows, so why not?

The next question you are no doubt about to ask me is, "Is there a point to this story?" No. Not really. If I were to be pressed to shave this story to a point, the crooked tip to which it might come would likely be that I used to think young Tommy Kirk and young Wil Wheaton resembled one another. Or that I was a dumb kid. But there is no point to this story. Not really. There's not really a story, either.

Gooooooooooood, Thursty!

*Jack spoons out a healthy portion of apple sauce*

Now here comes the food plane! Vroooooo--eeeee-reeaaarrrreowowowowo! Now, open up for Mummy.

Thursty, you could sell that story to the people trying to fight video piracy and make zillions!

Let's go Voltron Force!

I take one-two baths/showers a day. The probability of me taking two baths/showers approaches one the closer it gets to spring. My body and mind respond negatively to heat. I do not like to sweat. I do not like to be seen to sweat.

When I was a child, I stank of cigarettes and bleach. I stank of bleach because my mother insisted I would stink of human if I did not add bleach to my bathwater. (Her insistence had to do, in part, with my being overweight.) I stank of cigarettes because it never occurred to my mother or any of my stepfathers to smoke outside, or that an open window or door might help circulate some air. My classmates didn't notice the cigarette smell, since many kids smelled of cigarettes. They did, however, notice the bleach. I did, too. It made my skin itchy and red every time I was made to add it to my bathwater. After I was ten or so, I began to refuse to add it or let my mother into the bathroom to add it while the bath was drawing. This resulted in a few spankings, but ultimately also resulted in not having to add bleach to my water if I bathed or showered once in the morning and once in the evening..

People in America generally smell pretty good compared to people in Europe. I understand that many Europeans are motivated not to bathe or shower for reasons of conservation, and I respect that.

I am determined to let other people smell as bad as they want to smell, but my private personal preference is that people bathe or shower at least every other day.